The dream was that I was all of a sudden in a completely different place, and everything was strange and confusing. I was on a University campus managing some kind of store, maybe the gift shop. But I didn't know how I got there. So one of the "scenes" I remember from this dream was that I was on these steps to this big building, and I was stopped there talking with a group of two or three women. It was like one of those science fiction movies where the main character has been displaced and doesn't know it until he finds out to his horror that he has left his previous time and place.
So I was asking these women about what day and year it was, and the date was not much different. But then I asked them about where exactly I was. They told me I was at Virginia Tech, which as you may know was the scene of a terrible mass murder in I think it was April 2007. When they told me I was at Virginia Tech, I asked them "You mean I'm where the mass murder happened?" And then this woman looked at me strangely and told me she didn't know what I was talking about. Because she told me there had been no mass murder, no murders at all in fact.
So a little later in this dream, not long before I wake up, I realize that the reason I am confused is that I underestimated just how displaced I am. I realize I am actually in the "Alternate Universe," often referred to as the "Parallel Universe," the one which mirrors the Universe you or I are actually in, but can (at least according to science fiction) be different in some respects.
Why did I think of and tell you this story of this crazy dream? Because I am beginning to wonder whether the 2009 playoffs are taking place in the Alternate Universe rather than the Universe I am used to.
In the Original Universe the Nuggets were supposed to be lucky to win a few more than they lost this season, to be lucky to make the playoffs at all, and to be very lucky to win more than one or two playoff games before being bounced out. We know what is happening is a huge contrast to that.
In the Original Universe, everyone up to including the owner and managers of the Nuggets assumed there was a zero or almost zero percent chance that the Nuggets would still be alive as of this day. So the owner and/or the manager of the Nuggets and of the Pepsi Center where the Nuggets play booked a different event for Memorial Day 2009, having no idea that the Nuggets were still going to need a place to play as of that date.
It didn't turn out that way in the Parallel Universe, creating the hyped spectacle of wresting entertainment CEO Vince McMahon trying to pass himself off as more ethical than Nuggets' management.
Nuggets' management is grossly overrated these days and, reflecting the ultra wealthy owner, is shamelessly greedy and capitalist in the business sense. But they are not to my knowledge unethical or immoral within the context of the business world they operate in. So only in the Alternate Universe would Vince McMahon be able to claim that he is a better business person, and is more ethical, than the Nuggets' managers and Owner.
In the Original Universe, Carmelo Anthony was supposed to be following George Karl instructions, and as a result he was, by his standards, shooting poorly this year. There was little reason to suspect that Carmelo was going to be all that great in the playoffs. But in this Other Universe, to say Anthony is on fire would be an understatement.
In the Original Universe, Nene would not make it through the season due to some new fluke injury or health problem. But in this Alternate Universe, not only has he made it through, but he has also with lightning speed and laser-like concentration and determination exceeded expectations on the offensive end, an amazing .604 point blank range freight train shooter, far greater than in any prior year when, to remind you, he hardly played anyway.
In the Original Universe, Chris Andersen in the summer of 2008 was unemployed and was drawing little interest from League managers and scouts. So when he was picked up by Denver on the cheap after Marcus Camby was given away, the reasonable, logical assumption was that he was, at best, going to be a role player. But in this Other Universe, to call Andersen a role player is another stupid understatement; try something like "Role Player for the Ages."
In the Original Universe, Denver's defensive specialists would not be substantial offensive contributors. In this Alternative Universe, all of them, especially Anderson, and even including Dahntay Jones, became offensive contributors as the Nuggets generated a huge amount of fast break and in transition scoring from defensive stops of various kinds off of aggressive, high energy defending.
In the Original Universe, the Detroit Pistons were one of those franchises that holds on to the good on both ends of the court "glue" type players, whether or not they feel a rebuilding wind coming on. In the Alternative Universe, Pistons General Manager Joe Dumars seems more like the leader of the Gang That Can't Shoot Straight.
At the beginning of the 2008-09 season, Dumars trades Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson. But then the Pistons join a growing list of teams unable to unravel what I call the Iverson Puzzle. Iverson is bounced around from point guard to 2-guard, and from starting to not starting. At least partly due to the continual experimenting, the Pistons start losing more and more, including a large number of home losses to medium and a few poor teams.
By March Iverson gets disgusted with the whole thing and decides to use his sore back as an excuse to quit playing for the Pistons. Meanwhile, Rasheed Wallace is apparently too old now, and Rodney Stuckey is too young to be a reliable point guard, and so between all of that the Pistons' season ends up in the dumpster.
And it may be some time before the Pistons are able to climb out of their dumpster dive. Good luck, Dumars, trying to dig out of the hole you just dug yourself. I don't think high quality players will be beating down your door to play for you any time soon.
So in summary, in this Crazy Theme Park type of Universe, at the franchise level, the Pistons (three rings) look like the Nuggets (zero rings) have generally looked over the years, whereas the Nuggets look a lot like the Pistons.
Assuming we are now actually in the Other Universe, what I want to know is: Who is responsible for getting us here? Because as you know, I'm always out to blame someone for anything bad and to credit someone for anything good.
Was it someone turning that spooky wheel on the LOST island? Was it Obama, thinking the only way we will get out of the depression is by booking over to the other Universe? Was it Vince McMahon. Was it Dahntay Jones, known for his beyond the rules actions?
Who knows; all I know is that although I have to learn that sports is far less predictable than economics and politics, the unpredictability of this year's NBA playoffs is bordering on intolerable. So if in fact we are not in the Correct Universe right now, I demand to be returned to it immediately.
You can stay in this weird one if you choose. I warn you though, choose your Universe wisely.
So what say you Phil Jackson?, who was yet another character who seemed to be in the Wrong Universe during Game two of the Lakers-Nuggets series, when he forgot to take Pau Gasol out for some badly needed rest, and when he drew up the asinine three attempt by the ice cold Derek Fisher for the attempt to send the game into overtime.
Phil, what do you say we book it back to the Old, Regular Universe? You have nine rings there, a really nice ranch in Montana, and a good chance to at least get into the Championship if not to win it. Whereas in this bizarro Universe, the Nuggets seem to have at least a 50/50 chance of stopping your chance of winning the Quest for the Ring for the 10th time.
Even if we have to make a stopover at the LOST island, or at George Karl's place, in order to get back to the Correct Universe, I'm down with that.
Just like I would hope and expect it to be the case with the Lakers right now, I am ready to do anything to get back home in good shape.
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